Lacquering the Dining Room: Part 1

We recently went to Sherwin-Williams to get some paint swatches for the dining room. I didn’t really see any colors that were bright enough for the look that we are going for but I love their paint so I figured while we were there, I'd ask them what kind of paint I need to lacquer our dining room. I know this sounds odd but hear me out... 

Many years ago, my dear friend Nicole was giving me advice about what to do with a dated piece of furniture. It was this really cool headboard that my mom had purchased for me but it was that weird particle board material and some of the ends had started to chip. But I LOVED the bed so I didn't want to get rid of it. I told her I was thinking about silver-leafing it. This was circa 2008 so silver-leaf was totally cutting edge at the time. I was explaining my plan to Nicole when she rolled her eyes and said: "Lacquer. Lacquer the shit out of it." And thus an obsession was born. 

I've been talking about lacquering a room ever since. I just think it is really pretty and elegant. I love the way that the light bounces off of it. The only issue with lacquering a room is that you have to be really sure. Like marriage/commitment/stage 5 clinger sure. You can't just paint over lacquer.

Gary was very much against it the first 245 times that I brought it up but then we discovered that the dining room will need to be skim coated with new plaster (the former owner apparently hung up a plate collection while she was drunk so there are uneven holes and bad patches all over the room) so it should be perfectly smooth once it is finished which makes it the PERFECT surface for lacquer. 

So I go to the counter at Sherwin-Williams and a nice young man comes over to help me out:

Me: Do you have lacquer?

SW Guy: Lacquer?

Me: Yes. Like super high-gloss car paint but for walls. 

SW Guy: For a car?

Me: Walls. For our dining room.

SW Guy: Let me ask the manager. (Look of terror) 

So then the poor manager guy comes out of the back and looks even more terrified. 

SW Guy #2: So what are you trying to do?

Me: I want to lacquer the dining room. 

SW Guy #2: Why would you want to do that?

Me: Because it's pretty. 

SW Guy #2 stands there for a second and looks confused. 

Me: So do you have wall lacquer? Or some other kind of lacquer? I’ll take whatever I can get.

SW Guy #2: I've been doing this a long time and I've never had anyone ask for that. 

Me: I have pictures! (So I pull out my phone and fumble around for my photos). LIke this!

SW Guy #2 who has clearly never been to a brothel: Oh. (he actually looked like he begrudgingly likes the lacquer photos I show him.) We have something that may work but it is harder to get it to work for darker colors. Do you know what color you want?

Always Subtle

In Screaming Color!

Me: Hot pink. Sort of a Malibu Barbie pink but brighter.

SW Guy #2: (politely nods even though he thinks I'm nuts) Let me see what we have that could work. 

So the manager guy goes through a bunch of books and papers and then finds something that might work. Then he decided it wouldn't work and he said he'd call around and figure something out and call me back. 

So I gave the poor guy my phone number and thanked him. I figured that was the last I’d ever hear from Sherwin-Williams and that he probably sent out some special Sherwin-Williams alert to all of the other stores warning them that there’s a crazy person out hunting for neon pink lacquer.

And THEN the strangest thing happened... he called me back two days later and told me that he'd figured it out. He said to buy the All Surface Enamel Oil Base in high gloss and that it should do exactly what I wanted it to.

I'd just like to say how nice it was to have someone actually help you! Nobody is helpful anymore. I'm actually related to people that wouldn't have gone through the trouble that SW Guy #2 did for me. Never give up on your dreams, kids!

And it is going to be so gorgeous! Look at these random pictures that I stole from the internet!

We are going with Benjamin Moore’s Razzle Dazzle. Sherwin-Williams can mix any manufacturer’s paint color for you if you ask so don’t be afraid to branch out if you don’t see anything at SW that you love.

And if you are going to lacquer the shit out of something then you might as well go all in! The walls are going to look like giant hot pink gumballs! Which will either be really fabulous or I will have completely destroyed our dining room and I’ll never hear the end of it. But something tells me it is going to be just perfect.

Test photos coming soon. Cross your fingers!